He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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