is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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