his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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