The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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