Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
