Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize
