oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
