Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
