The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize