Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
We had to coat check the pizza.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
