ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
