okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
