I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
