Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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