Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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