Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
