And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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