We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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