we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
