Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Still dying that you shit outside
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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