I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
