You just made me feel so damn special
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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