Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
