You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
