i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
