i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize