where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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