You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
