She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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