She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
