What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
