her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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