Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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