so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize