was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
