I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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