I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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