But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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