I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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