I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
