Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
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