i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
