I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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