You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
