I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
