Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
