Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I smell stomach acid.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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