matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize