No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
