You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
