I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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