i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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