no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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