You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
