i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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