Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
