I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
