he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
two words: eviction party
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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