That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
