mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
