He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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