she looked like the bat from fern gully.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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